Girl Power

My name changed again since I last updated this profile. This was due to my marriage to Suzanne on Halloween 2009! :O)  I am now Mrs Broxie Bessent-Rothwell.

The wedding only just went through as we only had 15 minutes to left to publish the wedding notices; we sat in the registry office awaiting the verdict from the Gender Recognition Panel. 

The news was received by telephone that I was officially now female so Bishop’s Stortford Registry Office had its first Trans wedding (Civil Ceremony).

In November 2009 I postponed my Gender Reassignment Surgery in order to have some Genital Electrolysis they funded at the last minute.  I was fortunate to meet the girl that received my cancellation. That helped soften my disappointment.

I recently postponed the GRS for a second time as the electrolysis needs to continue for a little longer.

I now have a new GRS date set for 26th October 2010.

Earlier this year I had voice pitch surgery. 

There are now two versions of the surgery Advanced and Basic. 

I should have received the advanced surgery but was given the Basic.  At the same time I had my Adams Apple reduced, but I have a very large voice box so it has not actually made a great deal of difference to my look.

The scar is still red but, the cut is very straight and is in a place that my ageing skin would naturally crease anyway.

The treatment was done on the same wing that I will have my GRS later this year and my treatment there was terrible, which does not inspire me with confidence.  I can’t afford to go private so I will just have to hope for a better experience next time.

Just before Christmas 2009 we were offered a council flat in Hertford.  We hated the place but for a number of reasons were not in a position to turn it down.

I had to quit smoking AGAIN!   This time I gave up on Christmas Eve and have not faltered since.  Annoyingly I am still reliant on Nicotine Mints though.

I have bloated out massively in the last 3 years.  I think it is at least in part due to the effect of giving up smoking.  Also I have been suffering from water retention and that may be side effect of the oestrogen. I was taken off oral Oestrogen as not enough was showing present in the blood stream. 

I am currently on Sandrena Gel  instead.  As per normal they start you on a low dosage and gradually increase it.  So I am now awaiting conformation that I may increase my dose to 4mg a day.

Broxie Blog

I left home a little late and any hopes I had of catching my normal train were dashed by a rather slow man purchasing his ticket.

My wife rang to see if I had made the train and I told her I may as well have stayed and packed my laptop, had a coffee and put my makeup on.  I sat on a bench on the platform applying my makeup and a few minutes latter  my wife appeared clutching the laptop!

On arrival at Liverpool Street I made my way to the bus stop, just in time to see a bus pull out. So I queued for ten minutes for the next bus.  I got on the bus but had to get off again as my Oyster card had ran out of credit!

Back down into the station I went with all my heavy baggage.  The ticket office was very busy so it took a while to get served.  I had to spend every penny I had on topping up the card.

I went and got the bus and was good and hopped off two stops early. I arrived at work to find the grounds full of people due to a fire alarm activation.  Half an hour later we were allowed to enter the building.

By lunchtime I realised I had not even had time to put my packed lunch in the fridge.   Not having any money left I risked eating it.

I made a call to a web-hosting company as I needed some information  about an account my employer has with them.  The man I spoke to was most helpful, but the highlight was that he referred to me as miss.  I had never told him I prefer to be addressed as female. That was a pick me up after such a bad start to the day. Maybe my voice is improving!

The mood of the day soon turned sour again though.  First two colleagues got into a row that looked like it was going to turn physical.  Having witnessed it I had to have a series of meetings with all concerned.

I picked up a pad to take notes for a colleague and managed to receive a paper cut right in the crease of my little finger.  Seconds later my colleague leaned back in his office chair and a leg snapped tipping him to the floor.

I did not know whether to laugh or cry. 

I filled in the accident book and started typing up a report on the earlier dispute.  I stayed late to finish the report.

I was the only member of support staff to make it in, so I never did get time to even unpack the laptop.

Then I made my way to Liverpool Street for a meeting with a customer that I recently did some freelance work for.  I felt a bit awkward as I now did not have a penny left to buy a drink with.

I got back home abut 10:15 pm, so my diet went out the window.

Broxie Blog New

The diet has not gone as bad as I first thought it might. Most days I have managed to have reasonably healthy foods and in smaller quantities.  Sticking to time has been a little hard and most days my last meal has been just after the 8pm deadline.

I have managed to be more active by getting off the bus a couple of stops before my destination and when leaving work I have walked a couple of stops before boarding the bus.  In addition I have used the stairs rather than take the lift.

In theory it should have been easier to exercise when I was not working at my part time job in London.  In practise there is little room to exercise at home and I have been otherwise occupied trying to get Website work done in addition to catching up on emails.

I lost most of  Thursday due in part to the lack of sleep on the previous few days.  I slept on and off and lacked any energy to get up.  When I did finally drag myself into the land of the living, I had a sneezing fit.  Thought the remainder of the day bouts of sneezing continued and my sinuses became blocked.

I felt a little better today but have been busy catching up on work I should have done yesterday.

Broxie Blog Diet, New

I had to make a call to a web-hosting company today.  The guy at the other end of the phone was most helpful, but what really pleased me was he referred to me as Miss!  I did not tell him my gender, so maybe my voice can sound female with enough practice.

Broxie Blog, Transition

Day 3 of the Big Blubber Diet..

Today was my day away from my part time job in London since embarking on my diet.  The day started badly as I slept though all the alarms that I had set.  I recall hearing one and reaching for the phone but it stopped sounding before I located the device.  I managed to sleep through the other 3 alarms and woke up and hour later with a head ache and the sound of the skip yard and a road drill ringing in my ears.

Having got up at around 10:30 am it must have been 11:30 am before I had a bowl of porridge.  That was good because it is one of the recommendations my nurse gave me.

Lunch though was not to be as I had a meeting to attend in Hatfield.  The meeting was held in a hotel reception so I did have two small cafe latte during the course of the meeting.  I did give the accompanying biscuits away as they are items not allowed on my diet.

I arrived home from the meeting at around 7:30 pm and had my evening meal at around 8:15 pm which was at least closer to my food curfew than the previous days.

Dinner was a Tuna and Sweetcorn topped Jacket Potato with a very small blob of Mayonnaise and a Salad as a side dish.

My thoughts are that I probably need to switch my meals around and eat a bigger lunch and have a much smaller evening meal.  As now I am supposed to do an hours vigorous dancing! It is already gone 9 pm and bouncing about straight after that meal would make me feel quite sick.  Also I need to get some work done before I go to bed.

Broxie Blog Diet, New

Day 2 in the Big Diet House..

For breakfast today, I was packed off with an apple for the teacher and a pot of microwaveable porridge!  Surely that is just normal oats packaged in an expensive plastic pot! 

I  left the breakfast until I arrived at work as I did not want to carry a rotting apple core about and I do not have a portable microwave.  That was bad but I did jump off the bus two stops early and I walked the rest of the way.

I really wanted the porridge, but skipped that idea as the stress started the second I walked into the building!  For the second day running I did not have time to pour a coffee either.  Fortunately, I had some of the bottled water left and so was able to wash my water retention pill down and grab the apple, which I ate on the move while sorting out the problems.

I was kept busy until 1pm and then only stopped long enough to eat the lunch my wife had lovingly prepared for me.  I had a Tupperware tub full of all kinds of leaves, shoots and roots topped with some naughty but tasty Mediterranean chicken slices.  In a little jar she had packed me off with a home made salad dressing containing mustard seeds.  I also had a set of eating irons so I did not have to use the office ones.  There was a pair of scissors and a fresh green chili packed in my bag too.

I cut the chili up with the scissors and sprinkled it over my salad, then added the mustard seeds and the I tossed the salad. By this time a colleague returned with a takeaway ham salad costing £4.00 from the eatery in the building.  My salad certainly looked better than the shop bought version.  When I got over the idea that I was actually going to eat salad, I actually enjoyed it.  The chilireally helped as did the salad dressing and that Mediterranean chicken.

I thought I would get a coffee after eating the salad but things remained stressy, so I never got around to it.

 Again I left work 10 minutes early in order to walk the two bus stops distance across the park.  My time sheet for the day was short again,but only by 5 minutes.

The bus made good time again so I hopped off the bus at Moorgate and walked to Liverpool Street train station where I met up with my family.

Dinner was served around 8:30 pm again, but as we did not get back home until 7:45 that was unavoidable.

Dinner was boiled rice with sweet corn and the portion size was as advised.  The lamb curry made with a tomato base was twice the advised portion size to make up for the lack of vegetables.  It was very tasty if a little naughty.

Shortly after dinner I was presented with  strawberries with a few slices of banana topped with half fat creme fraiche.  This was very naughty as I probably should not be having a sweet.

Broxie Blog Diet, New

Maybe I got a few hours sleep, but it felt like I had not slept at all when my alarm started pestering me this morning.  I ended up getting out on time but only because I skipped any attempt at hair removal, makeup and even skipped my coffee.

My wife poured me a coffee into a overgrown baby beaker otherwise know as a travel mug.  Being vain I put the travel mug in a cloth carrier bag, then chucked a cream poncho into the bag.  I had ignored the advice to carry the mug in my hand, so I guess it comes as very little surprise that 5 minutes later I found I had half a mug of coffee and a coffee and cream coloured poncho!

Being half asleep it took longer than normal to apply my makeup so the train was only 15 minutes outside Liverpool Street by the time I started to pluck my extremely spikey feeling chin.

I transferred to the bus and started plucking again, but then I remembered my Diet!  I dislike people that eat on pubic transport and am not very fond of eating on the move or even in public places, however I decided to become one of those people; as leaving my breakfast till I get to work makes it too close to lunch break.  It was only a crunchy oat bar and the bus was not very crowded.  A few minutes later I had eaten the crunchy oat bar, then looked down to find actually my skirt was wearing half of it, like little almond colour sequins!

I was good and exited the bus a stop early and took a walk through the park to work.  I even walked up the stairs rather than take the lift.

Work got busy before I had time to pour my usual morning coffee.  Soon it was lunch time so I went down to the eatery.  As I have to avoid bread, the main option available are Jacket Potato with mostly unhealthy toppings or soup.

I was good and asked for a jacket with beans, but without the cheese!  The young lady serving me tempted me to a small knob of butter.  I also ordered an orange juice and paid.  Ouoooch!  £5.40 is no small amount for such basic and cheap food.

My first diet day

I can have a Chinese takeaway for under £5.00 and the local southern fried chicken meal deal for around £3.00.

When my jacket arrived I was happy to see that I had been given a few slices of cucumber though.

I never did get to have a coffee at work, but I guess that is not a bad thing diet wise.  It was soon time to do my time sheet and think about going home.  Taking out the extra 20 minutes for walking and the 20 minutes booked out for lunch left me with a deficit of time for the day of 30 minutes. I normally clock up 10 minutes a day or so over.  I could stay later to make up this time, but I only just get home before 8pm normally and I am supposed to try and eat my last meal before then.

I set off from work across the park which extends a little beyond the bus stop that I had alighted at this morning.  So I figured I would walk the length and then locate the nearest bus stop.  I think in the end that it is two bus stops.

The bus made good time and I reached Moorgate 25 minutes ahead of the time my train is due, so I was good and got off the bus there and walked the rest of the way to Liverpool Street.

I thought that would be the last of my exercise for the day, but as I exited the Station at Hertford East my wife was there to greet me. Aww, that was a nice surprise but it did mean I had a quick shopping trip around Tesco’s to do before I made it home.

My wife had indeed used the smaller plates and the rice was boiled rather than fried, but I probably should have had less rice and a few more vegetables.  It is a start though.

Unfortunately it was 8:30 pm when dinner was served, so it was after my deadline.  I knew it was going to be really difficult to follow this plan both logistically and financially, but I must do my best.

Broxie Blog Diet, New

Now that the stresses of the day are out of the way, it is time to have a nice dose of oestrogen.  I am to start using it again at the 3mg dose until I receive news of any changes from the nurse.

Broxie Blog, Transition Hormones

Straight form the hormone assessment I went to the admissions department of charing cross hospital.  I explained that I needed to postpone my surgery date.  First to the receptionist and then to her colleague.

I was asked to make sure I informed them at least 6 weeks before a cancellation in future.  I assume this is so that my surgery date can be given to the next person on the list and so that the next person has the required time without oestrogen.

I explained that if it were at all possible I would have done so but that I have only just been informed that I should cancel the appointment.  The lady was very understanding and recognised my name from last week when we had spoken on the phone about the missed pre admission appointment.

Fate is a funny thing, maybe I never got the letter because I was not yet ready to have the operation! Spooky!

Far from being the antagonistic kind of admission personnel, the lady met me with a warm sense of understanding.  A nice friendly feeling enveloped me.

I was asked to take a seat and a few minutes later the lady presented me with a letter containing my new pre-assessment date of 13th September and new admission date of 26th October 2010.

Broxie Blog, Transition

Immediately following my electrolysis appointment I had a review of my hormone levels with the nurse.  As I expected my oestrogen levels were still well below the optimum levels.  The check was performed just prior to me coming off of oestrogen in preparation for my Gender Reassignment Surgery.

In the past my highest estrodial level was 111, now 120 is my new target to beat! 

My liver function test had increased, which might partly be due to me not having fasted or maybe due to me being on 40mg of Furosimide in order to help with water retention.

The nurse is going to check if my Sandrena Gel can be increased to 4mg daily from the 3mg does I had been taking.

I am currently on 2mg of Finastride and the nurse will check to see if this can be increased to 5mg in order to help combat  male hair growth issues.

The nurse advises also that I go back onto Vaniqua Cream and was surprised that this had been discontinued after 3 months as this normally takes 6 months or more to start to have a noticeable effect.

As part of this assessment I was weighed and measured, my body mass  index was checked and my blood pressure was taken.

I have piled on the pounds lately and my waist measurement was only just under the point where many girls get refused surgery!

My body mass index was okay, so I may have just scraped passed.  It is not uncommon for the surgeon to assess someone on the day of the intended surgery only to send them away until the weight issue has been addressed.

There was also a little concern over my blood pressure reading, but it was felt that it may be due to the hormones, the nurse will check this with the Doctors too.

I am now officially on a diet! 

The nurse is going to send out her diet pack and I am under instruction to follow the plan. In addition I also have to somehow find a way to eat at regular times and before 8pm.  All very difficult as I don’t have time to eat breakfast and I feel sick if I try to eat too soon after getting up. I normally rush off to work  and have a oat biscuit once I have arrived.

Bread is off the menu so I can not even have a sandwich at lunch time.

I don’t leave work till 6pm and it is nearly 8pm by the time I arrive home.  If money was no object I could eat my main meal at lunchtime, but money is a problem! My wife likes to have dinner with me too.

In addition to the diet I am also to exercise for 50 minutes 3 times a week.  Quite where I am going to find the time is unclear at the moment.  Every minute not busy working is devoted to hair removal in preparation for working!  To add to the complication there is simply no place large enough to exercise in our flat.

Another suggestion was that I get off the bus a stop early and walk the rest of the way into work.  That would make me even later into work and subsequently later leaving work.  So I would not get home until well after the 8pm food curfew!

I thought having to cancel my surgery was going to be distressing, but actually the prospect of following the diet and exercise regimen is much harder to cope with.

Broxie Blog, Transition